Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Diving In: On My Own with Scared Money

My bad, y'all...
Was I shamed into finally posting a blog after two months? Kind of - and I apologize. But in my defense... It's been quite a couple of months.

At the end of June, the Pro announced he was leaving the country for a job, leaving me with two weeks to find an apartment in Las Vegas with no car, bad credit, and zero liferoll - awesome. At that point I had just grinded myself up to a decent little bankroll for my low stakes considering I came to Vegas as a last-minute, post-Black Friday decision without a car, decent credit, or a liferoll. Instead of being able to concentrate on growing my game, I basically had to grind for my life over a four week period in which I did make enough to eventually rent a car and secure an apartment (like a used car dealer, Vegas is thirsty for renters: good credit, bad credit, no credit - we can help you!), but had to decimate my bankroll in the process. Ah, there's nothing like learning to sink or swim when you're pushed into the pool; survival instincts took over and I'm just glad I came to Vegas with my Big Boy Trunks. I'm not using all of this as an excuse for not writing; I'm just explaining why I have not been writing.

The altar to which I pray daily
So I'm over here in the Poker Monastery, once again re-sequestered without a car (gotta love backpacking your groceries at 5AM to avoid triple-digit heat on the three-quarter-mile walk home from Wal-Marche) but this time with DirecTV (hallelujah!) but sans roommates. Any distractions that come up now are entirely of my own  making. I have enough food for two months or a nuclear winter - whichever comes first. I am DUG IN. The main thing I do not have is a real bankroll.


We have all heard the stories - no, the legends of pros like John Juanda, Shaun Deeb, Tom Dwan, those mythical figures who have deposited once and never had to deposit again. This is not one of those stories. After a month of playing scared with a tiny-ass little roll, I have had to redeposit, which sucked. I'm sure most of us have had to do it at some point, but when you are truly taking this game seriously, was a winning player with a 56% ROI (#nonhumblebragyo) at the time of leaving the nest, psychologically it hurt to have to cash out my bankroll to invent a liferoll. I know, I know:
FML
shit happens, and when it does, mop it up. But I will tell you this much: the axiom "scared money don't make no money" is oh so true. After surviving a stretch of 38 straight non-cashes, I believe in being superrolled, i.e. having 500 times your average buy-in if you want to survive as an online professional. Whereas I was originally trained to maintain 200x your average buy-in, as a low-stakes online pro, that's just not good enough: the variance is ridic. When it's just you on a professional island in northwest-central Vegas, grinding your face off for 17 hours at a time with bills and responsibilities, you have to make it impossible to go broke. So lesson learned - and thus we reload.

If 100-hour weeks aren't your thing, then you have come to the wrong blog. My next entry, which I hope to accomplish on my scheduled half-days Monday, will be on the unbalanced life of the developing professional poker player, why it's a good thing to unbalance your life-range in this stage of your pro-gression. In the meantime, enjoy your assuredly more-balanced, normalish life. I'll get there someday. Like 2013. :-)

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